CAN WE STOP PRETENDING WOMEN CAN FAKE ORGASMS, ALREADY!?

We’ve stopped doing this right? No judgement for those who have, hell, I’ve put on a performance or two in the past, but we all now agree that our orgasms are more important than our partner's ego, right? Right! 

But here’s the thing, how could anyone believe we could do it in the first place? Physically do it I mean, not “how can anyone believe the patriarchy would engineer a way for men to ignore women’s pleasure”, that bit doesn’t surprise me. But anyone lucky enough to feel the all-mighty, earth-moving orgasm knows that it comes along with an obvious physical response, and it blows my mind that the patriarchy has convinced not only men that you can’t tell if a woman has had an orgasm, but women as well. For generations, we’ve been moaning and screaming our way through it porn-style, and no one thought to point out that this shit-show is biologically impossible? 

Let’s do a quick google search, shall we? According to www.everydayhealth.com, female orgasms go something like the following...

“When a female orgasms, a series of rhythmic contractions occur in the uterus, vagina, and pelvic floor muscles. The sexual tension caused by lovemaking or self-stimulation releases, and muscles throughout the body may contract.”

There it is! That physical response we’ve been talking about. Those sweet rhythmic contractions that send a body into hysterical euphoria. It’s a glorious thing, and without question, it’s physically detectable to both parties. Show me someone who says they can’t feel it, and I’ll show you a liar. 

So, how is the patriarchy not overtly embarrassed by this? They tangle so much of their “masculinity” into heteronormative sex, and yet they actively encouraging each other to do it incorrectly or at the very least, not bother caring if they actually give pleasure to their partner. If you are a straight male who doesn’t know if your partner actually orgasms during sex, it’s time to have a conversation. Or if you know this is you, speak up, you need to take responsibility here as well. Sure, some women can’t orgasm during sex, and that’s OK too, there’s no shame when it comes to individual tastes, fetishes and limitations, you can’t compare your journey, but there’s always options, and I for one am keen to change the narrative. 

Thinking back, the writing was on the wall when it came to women’s sexual pleasure. We’ve all seen When Harry Met Sally, or at the never least can have watched the infamous clip with Meg Ryan faking an “orgasm” in front of the entire diner, but that movie is over 30 years old now, and if women can agree to stop faking orgasms, can we all agree to stop pretending they can as well?